Transitioning from Stay at Home Mom to the Working Class
In mid-December of 2017 I was forced to take leave from my job due to a traumatic incident that shifted my whole world upside-down. I was forced to stay home and regroup for almost a year and now it’s time that I transition back to the working world and I have no complaints about it what-so-ever
How It All Began
“The decisions of others can affect your life and vice versa”
I have not shared the whole story with many because the trauma is still fresh to me even after 11 months of healing. I work for a transit company here in Washington, D.C. I was, at the time, a Train Operator on a very popular and busy system. The day was like any other day in December. It was cold, crowded and the hustle of rush hour was no different. Except this day would be different for me. As I’m traveling while operating the train, an elderly man decides to jump in front of my train in attempt to commit suicide. At that moment it was like the world around me slowed down, noises were muffled and I felt like the planet’s worst person. This incident not only scared the living crap out of my, It snapped me into the reality that this world isn’t as cookie cutter and perfect like we would want it to be. Thankfully the man survived but little did he know that his actions would set off a flow of chain reactions in my life. To ensure my mental health is 100% I was required to take off and start therapy immediately. Almost 3-4 times a week. That’s really all I did and depression started to set in with anger following behind it very quickly. See, I had JUST lost my Grandmother a few month’s prior. I was starting to feel like myself again and then BAM! I get hit with this very low blow. I also had a lot of anger because I did lose someone close to me who wasn’t ready to leave this earth. In my head, I questioned “Why” so many times that this guy who didn’t care about this life was spared but my Grandma was taken so painfully. Let’s Just say I was a massive ball of uncontrolled emotions.
“Things that are good for others may not be good for you”
Within the first couple of months I was just home, in my room and in bed. I didn’t know how to explain to my 3 kids why I was so emotional. I didn’t want to traumatize them either. I think the depression set in because I didn’t feel valuable anymore. I felt like a waste of space because I couldn’t go out and work to help support my family. I felt myself drifting deeper into a whole and I knew the only way to get out was to get out of bed and actually do something. I started focusing more on my Brand, Typical BlaQueen and my side Brand Mothers with Motives. I also started to get out more and be more present at my kid’s school. We live a few blocks from where their school is so it was nothing to pull up on them whenever their Dad or I received a phone call or just wanting to pop in to see how they were doing. My youngest, Demetri absolutely LOVED the spontaneous school lunch dates with his mommy. I began to try new things like going out to different coffee shops around the DMV and even new restaurants. Pinterest became a good friend of mine when looking for ways to spice up dinner and in the middle of that we moved to a new place and my decor skills have definitely gotten stronger. It was great in the beginning to take a step back to breathe and enjoy life. I actually had time where I could focus on myself and not everyone around me. Being a stay-at-home mom had it’s perks. The awesomeness of those perks start to wear off when you realize that you are a person who actually loves being out and working.
Becoming a Stay-at-Home Entrepreneur
“Take control and step out on faith in your own time”
I know a lot of you are thinking that I had it made at this point. Not having to go into work everyday but still getting a paycheck, being able to watch your kids grow up, having the freedom to travel and go as you please and having time to build up your business without the neediness of corporate America getting in your way. I can say that this has been a blessing in disguise of a horrible incident because a lot of the things I accomplished this year may have had to be put on hold simply because of my work schedule. I was able to work with Brands I stan for, meeting people in person that I look up to and admire, even creating some pretty dope new relationships by attending events. It sounds like a dream come true and it really is (here comes the BUT) but it isn’t who I am as a person. I gain inspiration from motivating myself to go out and take care of business. I gain inspiration from my coworkers and the relationships I’ve built over the last 10 years I have been working for the company. The position I held allowed me to feel needed and gave me confidence that if anything went wrong in life I at least have a stable job and income to fall back on. It’s an empowering thing for me to be employed while still being able to run my business because it gives me choices. I didn’t want to be forced to stay home because of someone else’s struggle with life. I would have loved to do it because I was ready to. I want it to be a decision that I made when I was ready. Who in their right mind want to have a taste of freedom with their business knowing that they soon will have to give it up and make it take a temporary back seat all over again. I did not want to the feel that type of loss.
Going Back to Work
“Follow your heart no matter how wrong people think it is”
This is my second week back at work and it has been amazing. I feel more empowered than I have since I’ve been off. Seeing familiar faces and being welcomed with open arms has me all smiles. It’s comforting to know and accept that some people are born to work. It’s just about how hard or how smart you do it. I got my first job when I was 17 and the independence of making my own money felt like I was invincible. At that point my Momma couldn’t tell me nothing lol! I guess the American dream is to get to a point where you’re successful enough that you don’t have to work but in all reality not everyone dreams the same. My dream is to do what I feel makes me happy and continue to do it until I decide that I’ve had enough. I like what I do at my job and I do have a game plan on what I want to do in the next few years. Ive never looked at the company I work for as a dead end and end all.